No speak English...

"She doesn't even understand English. You could be asking her for a root and she would just say 'yes' but she wouldn't know what you are talking about until you stick your finger up her ass"

Nice try, mate. I will put money on the fact she could understand English just fine, she just didn't want to talk to a fuckhead like you.

Somebody is watching....

Ever get that feeling you are being watched? If you are a girl in a bikini

at a hotel pool, then chances are you are being more than watched

"The hotel room looked out onto the pool and it was full of air hostesses in bikinis. I couldn't help myself so I hid behind the curtains and had to rub one out"

You make me sick. You take peeping Tom to a new low.

The breakfast pizza

"I found a pizza shop nearby but I don't think they will deliver a family pizza and a coke at 10 in the morning"

Look womble, it's really no surprise you are the size you are. Even your attitude is chubby. Please stop panting and sweating, I won't know what to do if you have a heart attack .

I'm not racist but...

This post is several quotes from several people regarding roadworks and asians.

"They even have Asians working at vicroads now anyone can get a fucking license"

"The reason why the ring road is so fucked is because of all the Asians"

"The whole Melbourne road network is fucked because of all these Asian engineers who have got no fucking idea"

"So many fucking Asians have cars, it's bullshit"

"I'm not racist but the worst driving I've seen is from fucking Asians"

"Is there any other bakeries around, I don't like the look of those Asian pies"

"What is this fuckwit driver doing, I bet they're Asian"

"the CBD turns into the Asians domain after about 3 in the morning. Once all the Aussies have gone to bed"

Some interesting theories, but not really plausible. Let me guess, you read the herald sun and listen to 3aw? Mmm Hysteria in its mildest form. Did you know that black people steal TVs?

Overheard at work

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The tax payers money

The overweight trucker as a police helicopter passes over head. "There goes another $15,000 of our tax payers money"

Don't worry about crime, as long as they don't bring in a fat tax and I can lean on my truck all day at councils expense.

The school and church car park

After closing off the car park to a school and church, old mate was absolutely dumbfounded come 9oclock when the mothers came to drop off their kids. "fucking hell! These people are fucking stupid! They're lazy, they're women"

Then come 10oclock the old ladies for church. "Can't come in, no church today " 90yo woman "yes there is" "ok but you have to walk under that barrier" "I'm to old for that!"

Up there for thinking. Apparently.

Lazy cunts

Welcome to the bizzaro world of blokes at work. The often sexist, racist and almost always idiotic shit men say. At work, in the smoko room, on the roads and all over the shop. The lad speak, the bloke talk and the not so witty dialect of Australia's blue collar workforce. The tar and fat filled heart of our construction industry, road works and general bogan population. These are their stories.